A very entertaining sales job posting

I recently received a phenomenal job posting.

Loved it (except for the macho & ageist comments of course)...

Here we go:

Hey there,

This is a job post for the first non-technical hire in an established software startup. 

Our 2 founders are full-time coders and have built a profitable product in the financial software sector -- operating income about $250k in 2010.

We have reached the point where we can't grow it any more on our own, and we aren't very good at sales anyway.  We should focus on the code while someone else does the bizdev.  We have outsourced everything that can be outsourced and need someone to step in as head of marketing/sales.

This is what you will be doing:

? selling stuff and making money, in the financial services / legal space
? getting partnerships and marketing/distribution of the product
? social media - blog posts, tweets, facebook crap..or get interns to do it
? team recruiting, particularly of other business-type people and interns
? client relations..you will be the face of the business
? figuring out which features we should code next based on customer feedback
? take us from $250k profit to $2 million in next 18-ish months.

You will not be fundraising or talking to VCs.

Pay is some mix of equity, salary, and commission.  You will have a marketing budget to deploy.  You will live in New York.  You will work full time and not have any other jobs or companies on the side. There will be a 3 month trial period where you show us how awesome you are and take less cash / more commission.  We work remotely but if you need to get an office of some type we could get you one if you convince us it's necessary.

You should probably have some sort of business experience, as most of the people we sell to are pretty sophisticated professional types.  Software sales experience is good, but so is experience in the client side of financial services.  Because our product deals with securities, financial analysis experience is helpful but will not be the focus of the job.  You should look polished or hot and be good on the phone -- we will send you to conferences and give you lists and expect results.  You should follow up with people reliably and quickly and go to a lot of networking events.

However, you should also be up to date.  Like, if you don't have an iPhone 4 or recent Android phone, or if you use Windows at home, don't apply.  It sounds arrogant, but you need to be comfortable with our stack and with the increasingly mobile nature of software.  We trialed one person who was older and didn't jive on this particular point, and it didn't work for us.

We are essentially looking for Alec Baldwin's character in this scene: 

We will build/install software tools to make your life easier and whatever apps you convince us will sell.  We will use our designers to build you marketing materials.  We will use our large network of connections in the VC/nerd world to get you the right introductions.  We have a curated list of 15,000 sales leads.  One of us has exited a company before, and we hope to flip this one within the next 18 months.  We are operating in a highly acquisitive space with a lot of old, cash-rich companies and few innovators. 

You should be comfortable with the idea of working in an extremely small team, and you should expect the team to remain small (< 10) and possibly distributed until we exit. 

This is a good opportunity as most of our competitors suck and we are rapidly gaining market share despite being gigantic nerds with no sales initiative, and we are already making a lot of money.  

Thank you,

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